Very much ashamed and angry at myself. I was a born in but no one held a gun to my head and made me get baptized. That's all on me. No one forced me to be a MS, then an elder. I could have made different choices but I fully believed that even though there were things I saw that weren't right, that somehow it was God's organization and that He would straighten it out over time.
However, I look at the experience as a valuable lesson that you should never believe anyone that says they speak for God, to beware of those who try to assert their authority over you and to always, always verify any claims. If you make outrageous claims (like you are the restoration of the "true faith") then extraordinary proof is required.